Long train running

The Dutch railways have a problem: their high speed train Fyra (supposed to connect Amsterdam and Brussels) arrived with years of delay, cost millions of euros and fell apart after just a few months of use. Closer inspection revealed no less than 26 serious defects in just one train. Our neighbours in Belgium declared they are not interested in the train anymore. However, the Dutch government and Dutch railways are still discussing whether or not they want to keep a high speed train that won't be able to travel at high speed because our country is too small, and that's kept from falling apart with duct tape.
I'd like to suggest a different use: in the show Killer Karaoke, candidates have to sing a song while being subjected to stressful situations (think singing in a bath tub filled with snakes). Why not singing on a train that's going at 250 km/h and could fall apart any moment?

Title: It would make quite good television
Text: "Singing aboard a RUNNING FYRA!" "Who dares?"

Hang on

Only eight days to go until queen Beatrix will abdicate and leave the throne to her son, Willem-Alexander. In the meantime, a big scandal occurred: the official "King's song", composed by John Ewbank and meant to be sung by all Dutch citizens for their new king, met with such harsh criticism that the composer decided to withdraw the song. It was to be expected, though: listen and judge for yourself - and if you really want to appreciate the lyrics, here's the singalong version.

Just to be clear: I completely disapprove of the excessive "bashing" of John Ewbank as a person on his Twitter and Facebook accounts and I do feel sorry for him. However, parallels with the well-known bard from Asterix (who always ends up tied to a tree whenever he wants to perform his music) were too strong to ignore. What's more, even the composer himself predicted he might end up much in the same way if people wouldn't like his song.

The title refers to the first sentence of the King's song Daar sta je dan ("There you stand, in the end") and substituted "standing" with "hanging".

Update: just shortly after I finished my cartoon, our official Song Committee declared the song is to be performed after all.

Spring cleaning

Keep calm and carry on

Last week's internet hit: news anchorman Herman van der Zandt (click here for another cartoon starring Herman) faced the failure of all technology in last Saturday's four o'clock news. None of the films on various news items worked; still, Herman made the best of it and remained quite unshaken. His improvised weather report: "Well, as you probably know,  it's cold. And there's an icy wind." After two minutes, he announced they'd "try to fix the problem" and gave up.
(Click here to see the film in Dutch, it's only two minutes and well worth it!)
Title:  Keeping calm with Herman van der Zandt
Text: "We'll try to fix it"

One, two, three

Sorry, I've been negligent: I still owe you three cartoons from the last weeks. So here they are! 

 

11 February. Gas winnings in my native district Groningen cause minor earthquakes and major distress in the inhabitants. A study commissioned by minister Henk Kamp advises to abandon the gas winnings immediately to avoid serious damage, but the minister sustains he prefers to await further research. This attitude gains him a (verbal) attack on television by well-known Groninger Jan Mulder. He's the guy/dog that's biting the minister's leg.

Title: For the time being, Henk Kamp maintains a neutral position

Text: "It's not as if one study says it all"

 

 

 18 February. Genealogical research carried out to reconstruct actor Waldemar Torenstra's family tree leads to a surprising discovery: turns out he's related to Willem van Oranje (who was the first in the line of the house of Orange, that still provides the country with kings and queens). So he's related to our queen Beatrix, who announced her abdication just a few weeks before. 

Which brings us to a small scandal that arose in the same week. After Beatrix' abdication on April 30, her son Willem-Alexander (see previous cartoon post) will ascend to the throne and be the official king; his wife Máxima is to be addressed as "princess". Prime minister Rutte, however, announced there was no legal reason why she shouldn't be called "queen", to the great indignation of many.

Title: Waldemar Torenstra turns out to be a descendant of Willem van Oranje

Text: "Well then, why don't we call YOU queen from 30 April on as well? I really don't quite see a problem there"

25 February. I'm sure you've heard something about horsemeat, but that's not what this cartoon is about. I'm afraid it's almost impossible to explain to non-Dutchies, but I'll try.
Comedian Najib Amhali decided to switch employers: he preferred the commercial RTL4 over the non-commercial VARA, because the latter couldn't afford his paycheck anymore. Youp van 't Hek, another comedian (famous for a song about his rabbit Flappie that ended up in the Christmas stew), said he advised against it: it wouldn't be his artistic advice to subject one's show to constant interruptions by "the guy from Albert Heijn". (Supermarket chain Albert Heijn has been employing the same, immensely irritating man for their commercials for years. Other necessary knowledge: their term for "special bargain" is in the bonus.)
Title: Youp doesn't even consider switching to commercial television
Youp van 't Hek: "And I'd have to share the attention?"
Albert Heijn guy: "In the bonus: Flappie!"

Going out with a bang

The last cartoon of 2012! A few days ago, a rather shocking documentary (http://bit.ly/WQ7zq2) was broadcast unveiling some very unpleasant facts about Ryanair: the fact, for instance, that pilots are discouraged from taking an extra amount of kerosene aboard their planes in case their flight should be diverted. This stinginess almost led to disaster a few months ago. Michael O'Leary, the company's jolly CEO, denies everything, of course.

Title: "Good news: Ryanair revises fuel policy"
Text: "From 2013, we'll just abolish kerosene altogether!"

 Happy New Year - and not just from Michael O'Leary!

Unexpected

Cartoon came up a little less soon than promised. Last week, seven works of art were stolen from Rotterdam-based museum De Kunsthal. In the cartoon, Derek Ogilvie comes to lend a hand with his mock psychic powers, but is accidentally directed to Amsterdam by his ill-informed crew. Stedelijk Museum director Ann Goldstein is slightly surprised.

Project X Factor

Last week, a Dutch Facebook event got completely out of hand. A girl forgot to mark her "Sweet Sixteen" birthday party as private, which resulted in 25.000 people accepting the invitation, and a few thousand showing up on Friday night in the girl's village for a night of rioting. Some pranksters renamed the party "Project X" (after a cheesy American highschool film with a very similar plot).

So that's the subject of the cartoon: two tough guys auditioning for the talent show "Project X Factor".

The show can't go on

Something unusual happened in the Dutch tv show "Zomergasten": for the first time in 25 years, the evening's special guest fell ill. The show could not go on.

Nailed

This week's cartoon assumes that the nails found on the Tour de France track yesterday were just a part of an aggressive marketing campaign.

Stardust

VARA cartoon. Two Dutch men made a descent from the stars this week. One is astronaut André Kuipers, who literally came back to earth. The other one fell down in a figurative way and is Bert van Marwijk, who resigned after the ignominious defeat of the Dutch football team.

Barbecue

The VARA cartoon. Necessary background knowledge:
1) The Dutch football team suffered a shocking defeat against Portugal and is out of the European Football Championship.
2) VARA is looking for a new Paul the octopus. Runners-up are Co the rabbit, Carla the chicken and Nardia the pony (all of whom predicted a Dutch victory).

( 3) This is what the average Dutch football fan looks like.)

In charge

Be a sport

My cartoons for VARA are supposed to be based on recent tv fragments.
As summer approaches, I am starting to notice an inconvenient thing about this: all regular tv shows go on summer break and basically, the only thing left on tv for the next two months or so will be sports. And more sports. And other sorts of sports.

Maybe I should do eight cartoons about sports.

Try again please

One bad thing about drawing cartoons: once you come up with a new idea, you should check really thoroughly that nobody made the same joke before. At least not on The Internet.
(The solution to the last question, by the way, is Think Of A New Joke.)

Niet over rozen

It's sad to learn Job Cohen quits Dutch politics because he didn't live up to people's high expectations.

Crash boom bang

There is no chair

Falling leaves, failing brains

Though October saw no updates, some pretty Anita Aktueelish stuff happened. Here's an example.

Sorry

It seems October wasn't a very good month, update-wise...
And I'm leaving on a school trip to Rome tomorrow. Tune in again at the beginning of November!

Murphy strikes again

 You might remember Anne (she dyed her hair recently) and her particular luck with planes.
Today in Anne vs. Extreme Circumstances: Extreme Rain And Wind.